Backbends With Dave

Without a doubt, my favorite part of the day is the self practice in the hall from 9-12.  After the 7-9 am class, I often leave, eat half a watermelon or a coconut, and get back to the hall by 9:30 for 2 1/2 hours of practice.   In some ways, even though there is no teacher, this block of time is like a master class all in itself.  To be surrounded by 60-80 practitioners, all practicing diligently, exploring their capabilities, consciousness and creativity, is something that brings me joy day in and day out. 

For me, yoga has always been a deeply personal and somewhat private journey.  People have asked to practice with me from time to time over the years and I generally always say no.  It just doesn't interest me.  Perhaps part of the reason is because of the mirror this provides, and that it is sometimes  difficult for me to fully stay in myself when surrounded by other people, but whatever it is, when it comes to self practice, I'd rather do it alone.

My time in the hall every day is blasting that apart........in a very safe way.  In one essence we are all practicing together, but in another we are really all practicing alone.....in the same space.  This allows for deep penetration, inspiration from other practitioners, and also complete respect for one's space and privacy.  I have made some good friends in the hall and from time to time we come out of our poses, help each other, make suggestions and crack jokes.  It is a very nourishing part of the practice.

Today was back bend day.  My friend, Dave, had mentioned that today was his day to get over his fear of dropping back from Sirsasana.  Dave and I have been practicing next to each other the last three days and so I said sure, I was with him.  We wound up getting to the hall at the same time, setting up our mats, and starting our warmup.  Trikonasana, Gomukhasana, Paschima Namaskar; we separately did our own things to open up the back, rib cage and shoulders.  I did a variation of headstand where instead of being on the crown of the head, the head tilts back and you are on the bridge of your nose.  (There is not a headstand that makes my neck feel better and I generally do it as prep before dropping back).   Even before I came out of the pose, a voice whispered from behind me and said, "you ready?"  "Sure", I replied.

For the next 5 minutes, Gary, Dan and I assisted Dave in dropping back.  He did it about 6 times, and 2 or 3 on his own, for the first time ever.  Then it was my turn and I immediately felt a sense of joy.  Gary came over and gave me some assistance with a belt, and for moment there I was standing on my head, with my legs parallel to floor......behind me.  It was a feeling my body had never felt before.  I wound up doing about 5 or 6 more, each one amplifying the joy I felt inside.  By the time I was done, I felt exhilerated and was able to shoot love beams out of my eyes.  Dave was too.  He was right there, smiling, sweating, laughing.  We were both so happy.

We wound up practicing together for the next 45 minutes or so, all a prep for Kapotasana.  We went into Urdvha Dhanurasana and I looked at him and said, "let's do a bunch!"  We pushed up into 25 straight, then did about 5 more with more precision, then went to the wall for some other variations. By the time we were done, including the Viparita Dandasana's, we did about 50-60 in total!

Each time it got difficult, or we got to a place in the body with little consciousness, Dave would say, "I'm going to Prashantify this one."  Which, loosely translated, means to put your awareness on the energetics around a given area and let the energy create the physical change.  Each time he did, his pose deepened. 

Towards the end of my practice, I almost got into Kapotasana (my physical asana goal for my time here).  My left shoulder just doesn't have the motor control yet to make the turn.  But what I found truly amazing was as I looked around the hall, so many people were practicing back bends.  Some were dropping back from headstand, others were taking very creative variations of Viparita Dandasana that I had never seen.  There was a cosmic consciousness in the air, a feeling that we are all alone and all together at the same time.  A feeling of friendship and comradery. 

As I'm here in Pune, and here at the Iyengar Hall, I realize one thing.  You can do yoga, but its much better when yoga is done to you.  There is a force all around us and even though the vehicle we have is the body, and there is a strong sense of "I" with that, the more we let go and let yoga take us, the more joy and happiness and connection we feel.  For me, its not just connection to myself and to God, but to others as well.  And, I know that as much as I'd like enlightenment and freedom from all the suffering, what I'm really going for, what I really feel is available, is simply just connection. 

Guruji in Kapotasana

 

Urdvha Dhanurasana

 Viparita Dandasana

A Break

I remember 13 years ago when I met Lindya.  It was after an all night ceremony with old friends and new ones.  As morning came and we started to relax, Lindya was just getting going.  There was this feeling there that she wanted to go all the way, find complete emancipation, and wasn't going to stop until she got there.  Her friend was trying to get her to chill, but there was no way.  She was a woman on a mission.

I personally found it very attractive and for 3 years, she became my love.  But I have learned for myself, that sometimes, we just need a break. 

I took one the other day.  After a wonderful day that contained about 5 hours of asana practice,  observing the intermediate II class taught by Raya, and then having an impromptu guys night out, I woke up incredibly tired.  I had only slept about 5 hours, took a very strong class from 7-8:30 AM, and when it was time to go back to the hall to practice, I just didn't have it.  I needed rest.

I wound up going to the movies at 12 noon to see X-Men.  When I got there, I of course found out that the schedule was wrong and the only thing playing was How To Train Your Dragon 2 in 3D (Yeah, thanks, India!).  Ok, though, guess I'll see that.  I was a little hesitant, but my mind immediately landed on the movie, the rest of the world fell away, my breath deepened and I wound up crying at least 3 times!  Yes, it is a cartoon for those of you curious right now.  Like I said, I needed a break. 

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to practice as intensely as we are here in Pune.  It is seriously no joke.  But it is not just the intensity of the physical practice that I speak of.  Asana's, when truly penetrated, have a deeply profound pyschological and spiritual effect.  They have potential to shift us at the core of our being, if we are able to let go and be mindful enough to let them.  And the process of transformation is not always easy.  We can, at times,  feel confused, discombobulated, like we're trudging through sludge, but all the while knowing that we are on the path. 

BKS Iyengar has said time and time again, he experiences all the eight limbs of Astanga Yoga in one single asana.  When we truly contemplate what that means, he is saying he experiences (or focuses on experiencing) Truth, Non-Violence, Non-Stealing, Devotion to the Source of Creation, Withdrawl of the Senses, Concentration, Meditation, and Oneness.....amongst other things, in every asana!  Clearly this shows us how the body truly can be a temple and an asana truly can be a prayer.  And clearly it shows us how deeply penetrative an asana, or asana practice, can be. 

It reminds me of that joke about the Zen monk who buys a hot dog from a stand in New York City. When he overpays and asks for the change, the attendant looks at him and says, "Sir, change comes from within!"   Well, change does come from within.  And it takes many forms.  It is sometimes smooth and easy, but often it gets messy, is challenging, and does not look the way we want it to.  And sometimes we just need a break, a movie, a bike ride, or whatever it is that gives us some space.  And in that space, as I'm sure we've all found at one time or another, is sometimes exactly the healing we've been looking for.

A Yogic Journey

Its 7am.  I am sitting in the yoga hall, sweat dripping down my back as Prashant enters to lead the opening chant.  He does it so matter of factly.  Nothing fancy at all.  As he speaks, I realize I can't understand a word he is saying.  I start to panic and think,  "Shit, I really should have been listening to audio's of his and Geeta's so I can get used to their accents!"  I try to relax.  I let go of needing to hear, and I make out a couple words..."Balance the body, mind and spirit".  Ok, I'm gonna be ok.

Its been around 10 years I've been wanting to come to Pune, and this particular trip has been 2 1/2 years in the making.  The excitement and anticipation is huge, just as is the the terror and fright.  As class went on today, though, I felt myself relax more and more.  I could understand most of what Prashant was saying and certainly when the Sanskrit names of the asana's came out his mouth, I was there.

"Use asana as an end and a means", he repeated.

"Yoga should be done to you and for you, not by you", he also espoused. 

Even with this wisdom coming through in the teaching, 40 minutes into class I wasn't convinced.  "This guy's kind of crazy", I thought.   He was talking about how you need a different knife to cut an onion, potato, or tomato and I was starting to get frustrated.  "What the hell is he talking about? Make some connection to asana, please!"  Then, just at that moment, he looked around the room, paused, and said, "If you're getting irritated, you are ready to learn!  If you're not, maybe you're not in the right place."  Boom!  It was like my mind exploded and expanded all at once.  "Ok, perhaps I really have no clue what's going on here.  I think I can open to that."

The rest of the class was deep.  Prashant is teaching asana on a different level than what I am used to.  Some of it feels ancestral, more in line with the way the yogi's were practicing 100 years ago.  And in many ways, it felt real good. 

When I returned to the hall, 45 minutes after class ended (to do my own practice), I felt a great sense of peace.  40-50 people were there, all within themselves, all practicing diligently.  The room was quiet.  Raya and Abhijata, two of the senior most teacher's, were in the corner playing, talking, smiling, and practicing.  I laid down my mat, took my first pose, and got an overwhelming feeling of being home.  The energy was strong and it was coming through in my the practice. The amount of history in this room I can not even imagine.  What Guruji has passed down, the practice he's done, the great yogi's that have come to learn........As I practiced on this morning, I could feel it all.   

It has been some time and some great anticipation before I have finally arrived.  Many friends and colleagues have come and gone, all greatly changed from their time here.  For me, it just feels right....A place where I can practice all day long and not be considered weird or anti-social.  I feel like I belong, and I am honored and grateful to be here.  

Mobility VS. Stability: The Creation of a Healthy Joint

Over the last year or two, the question of mobility vs. stability has taken rise within the therapy world.  Many argue that mobility must come first while others claim that if stability is not first established, mobility will lead to injury.  While its fun to debate and talk about these complex theories of healing one's body, the truth is is that there is no one correct answer.  Not only is everyone's body different, but every joint within one's own body is different!  There are something like 640 muscles in the body, 206 bones, and 200-400 joints!  Do we really think there is one answer that is right all the time in the mobility vs. stability debate!?!

I contemplated all this during my morning yoga practice today.  I realized that the question, at least for me, does not come down to mobility vs. stability, but comes down to alignment and tissue integrity.  The moment you align a joint, or a series of joints in a yoga pose, you have moved into physical and (and probably) psychological integrity.  From this place, the magic can happen.  Your body will tell you where its safe to lengthen the tissue or where its not safe and you need to stabilize.  All this comes from being in proper alignment.

Proper alignment is what heals the body.  It is our teacher.   When we practice yoga, it is very easy to not be in integrity; to push past our limits, over stretch, and try to look good.  This is our ego talking and in the words of B.K.S. Iyengar, it is a breach of the first Yama, Ahimsa, or Non-Violence.

So the question for me here is not mobility vs. stability, but one of integrity and non-violence.  Can we contact our bodies when we are in pain and allow them to move?  And not just move, but take them to their limits while being honest with our capabilities, and not causing ourselves harm?  If we can do this, we can heal.  And if not, we are often just perpetuating our old patterns. 

To me, that is the real question.  And its answer has potential to reach far greater planes than just our physical bodies. 

Pain: Nuisance or Teacher?

Over the last year, I've had the opportunity to deal with and face a great deal of pain.  When I tore my ACL, the physical agony I experienced was unlike any other I had ever had.  And then after surgery, the recovery was no joke.  My range of motion was drastically limited, the stability I had in my knee was minimal and I was faced with having to take care of my body in a way I never have before.  It was a tremendous challenge (still is, actually), and has brought me great insight.

The first thing most people do when they experience pain is avoid it.  It hurts, we don't fully understand it, and we stay as far away as possible.  I completely understand this.  We are afraid of making it worse, of aggravating it.  We think that by staying away from it,  by not "aggravating" it, it will soon go away.  Sometimes that works.  Often it doesn't.

When pain arises, it is telling us something.  Not necessarily something esoteric, but something concrete, substantial and worth our attention.  It is telling us there is something wrong, something out of whack, and begging us to understand it and make a correction.  Pain is here to guide us, and our way through pain is not around, but in.

Going into pain is much different than pushing through pain.  That must be clear.  When we go into pain with mindfulness and awareness, the body speaks to us.  We are able to learn, to see the dysfunction and make the subtle manipulations the body is asking for.  

When we unconsciously push through pain, we are causing our bodies more trauma and exacerbating the situation.  This is not healing and not recommended.  The two different approaches, mindfulness vs. unawareness, are very closely related and produce very different results.

My suggestion is two fold:  If you have the skill, subtly go into your pain.  Don't push it.  See where "good" pain becomes "bad" pain.  Stop before it becomes bad pain and listen to what motions your body is asking you to do.  Tiny little corrections can go a long way.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, go see someone who does.  Get assessed.  Get specific exercises.  Do them.  Take care of yourself. 

Our bodies are our vehicles.  We need to treat them well. 

As a good friend often says, "as always, its your call."

Impermanence, Doubt and Freedom

If there's one thing that traveling offers to you, its the opportunity to reflect and observe yourself at the deepest level.  Without the normal distractions of TV, internet, etc, this "I am with me" environment can be incredibly fruitful.  I had a real clear experience of my self, my neurosis, the other day as I traveled from Bali to a little island called Gili T.

Gili T, or Gili Trawangan, is one of three small little islands off the coast of Bali.  I avoided Gili T last time I was here because it is deemed as the party island.  But after experiencing Gili Air and really loving it, but not loving the surrounding beaches, I decided, two years ago, that the next time I come, I will go to Gili T. 

On the two hour boat ride there, I got encompassed in doubt!  "Why am I going to Gili T?  Its a party island, a lot drunk idiots I won't be able to connect to.   I'm going to feel uncomfortable.  I should just go to Gili Air!"  My mind went on and on.  But it also had another voice coming through:  "No, Jory, just stick to the plan.  You've had this plan in the works for two years!!  And what's the big the deal anyway, its only two days!  Anyone can endure for two days!  And if you really hate it, Gili Air is only a 25 minute boat ride away!"

For the better part of two hours I went back and forth.  I was partly enveloped in doubt, but at the same time there was a constant observation going on.  I started contemplating impermanence and my very limited understanding of it.  If all things are impermanent and constantly changing (which certainly going to an island for two days is) why am I in such a state of distress? 

I began to rest.  I started to realize my fear of not feeling comfortable and how a part of me thinks it is going to last forever when it arises.  And how that lack of understanding of impermanence makes the actual feeling of discomfort (when it arises) so much worse!  As I kept piercing through these veils, something in me started to shift.  I began to fear less.  More ease arose.  I realized the ever changing nature of my experience and that in my life I am constantly striving for perfection.  That striving for perfection brings about a feeling of always trying to do the right thing, thus also creating the potential to do the wrong thing!  This is an erroneous and wrong view and has caused me a lot of suffering!

Once I surrendered to the whole experience and brought forth the wisdom of impermanence, I immediately realized the opposite of striving.........observation.  Observation brings awareness of the situation, both external and internal.  In observation, there is ease, presence, and an ability to access and adjust.....if need be. 

Entering into this new mind space, by the time the boat docked, I was at ease.  And within two minutes of being on shore, I was in love.  The vibe felt relaxed and alive, there were things to do and a lot of beautiful people.  I got a room about 5 minutes away from the main scene and it was quiet.  All my worrying was for naught.  It was totally unnecessary.  And even when I woke up at two am in the morning due to jet lag, I got up, walked to the beach and joined the party.  There was a DJ, 100 people dancing, some fucked up, some not, but it didn’t matter.  I danced, I practiced yoga, I felt a real state of joy.  It was truly a surreal and extraordinary moment.  

The Buddha called impermanence (Anicca) one of the three marks of existence.  Understanding of Anicca, along with Anatta (non-self) and Dukha (unsatisfactoriness), can bring complete awakening to the practitioner.  And clearly the intensive focus on one can bring forth the wisdom of the others.  

In this ever changing reality of life, how present and unattached can we be with the ephemeral phenomena?  

This is the view from the island I was panicking about going to!