The Passing Of Our Yoga Master

I have been hesitant to write this, but as I have been in Pune for 3 months now and have been a part of the processions and celebration of Guruji BKS Iyengar, I feel a bit compelled to write and share what it has been like to be here.

The day that Guruji passed was one of the most grief stricken, sacred, and heart felt days of my life.   I am still trying to process all that went on.  The generosity of the Iyengar family is beyond words and for the rest of my life I will carry this moment with me.

I arrived at the Institute around 8:30am.  It was still relatively quiet.  I was greeted immediately by both Indian and Western friends.  After a series of hugs I was ushered into Guruji's house to receive Darshan.  He laid on the floor, wrapped in white.  Prashant sat at his feet, praying.  It is a moment, like many from this day, that I will never forget.  I offered pranams to Guruji, gazed upon his body, walked outside and began to cry.

The next 4 hours were spent hugging, standing, and holding friends as thousands of people gathered outside the Iyengar's house.  Reporters came and interviewed us.  Old students of Guruji, like Raya and Amit, were busy working, making sure everything went as smooth as possible.  Abhijata was greeting people as they entered the house.  Many were crying, few were talking.  The entire time, Prashant sat as his father's feet, mostly with eyes closed, helping him pass.

At around 12:30, we were all allowed to go through the house one last time for Darshan.  Guruji was completely covered in flowers and surrounded by 7 or 8 chanting Brahmin.  Geetaji, Sunitaji, and several other women were just outside of Guruji's room, also chanting.  Incense was burning and the Brahmins were sweating.  Thousands of people had gathered by now so our time to offer our respects was greatly limited.  Still, to touch into the depth of that moment, to feel the spiritual presence from the rituals being performed, was one of the most profound moments of my life.  I have been to funerals, have even seen cremations in Varanasi (India's holiest city to die) but had never experienced anything like this. 

We made our way to the cremation grounds after Guruji's body was carried out. Anyone with a car offered space to all of us without them.  If there were any differences between people, they were set aside.  We were one big family. Our hearts were one.

The cremation was sad and powerful.   Prashant lead the way.  The whole day he was mesmerizing.  A Yogi in every sense of the word.  Many of us who were up close helped pass the dung and sandalwood to be put on the pyre.  Even women, who traditionally are not allowed to the cremation, we allowed.  Geeta was there, right behind Prashant.  At one point I overheard a woman who was crying say she wasn't even allowed at her father's cremation.  It gives you a sense of how special this was. 

For 13 days now the Institute is closed.  And for 10 of those days, from 4-6 pm, we are chanting in the hall.  Below is a picture of the altar that's been created.  We are all mourning and celebrating our beloved Guru.  And still it does not feel real.  Only one month ago I was watching him take Supta Virasana and Viparita Dandasana with support for 30 plus minutes at a time.  To think he was doing this less than one month before his death!  Mr. Iyengar was a Yogi, a Guru, and the best of Human Beings.  I did not get to spend much time with him, but the moments I did were quite special for me.   It is with such great reverence and gratitude that I am able to call myself his student. 

Class with Abhi

Today we had the honor of having women's class with Abhijata.  It was a bit of a surprise as a different teacher started the class and only after about a minute of being in Ado Mukha Virasana did another voice emerge from the front of the hall.   People's heads popped up and there was an immediate air of excitement in the room and a palpable deepening of the practitioner's sincerity. 

Abhi conducted an absolutely joyous and brilliant class.  The clarity of her teaching, the linked sequence from first pose to last and the un-scatteredness of her approach was remarkably refreshing.  At one point, I cried.....at least my eyes welled up.   She spoke about Guruji and you could feel his presence come through her.   He wasn't physically there but I could feel him coursing through my skin.   It was one of the deepest connections I've ever had with him. 

She went back and forth between giving directions, quoting Patanjali, and easily weaving a spiritual essence into the class.  At one point, while in Tadasana, my mind stopped.  There was no thought, just pure presence and sharpness.   Its an experience I know well from my years with Manouso, but one I have not gotten since I've been here.  It was clear I was taking class from a real teacher, from someone who knows so much more about the subject than I do.  I felt surrendered and opened to learning.

Abhi was present.  You could feel it.  She was not teaching from rote or plan, but truly to the group of students that were before her. 10 minutes into class when we set up for Utthita Trikonasana, she saw something she didn't like, pulled us out, and completely changed the course of class.  She began teaching about the groins and low back through Tadasana, Ado Mukha Vrksasana, Uttansana and Sirsasana.  It was only about 40 minutes later that we got back to Trikonasana.  And even once there, when half the class still wasn't listening to her, she said, "Ok, come out.  We'll start at the beginning.  A is for Apple, B is for Bat."  I'm not sure how many people heard that.  I totally loved it.

She spoke about the knees and the difficulty we have opening the backs of them.  Guruji once said our knees are like the eyes of a frog, always bulging out.  We were learning to take them back, but in proper relation to the rest of our body.

There were a lot of directions, something I've been missing here.  But I must make it clear....These are not just physical directions.  They are directions to concentrate the mind and free it from samskaras.  They are here to guide us and help revolve the consciousness around what it knows and move it to places it has not yet touched.   "So many people are so focused on the points", Abhi stated.  "On writing them down and teaching them.  In doing that, they miss doing the pose and truly feeling and understanding the actions in their own bodies.  When they go home, they have no idea what we did."  Right there, I dropped all thought again, all desire to write this blog, and just practiced.  And in that, in the presence I brought, I could probably recite the entire class to you. 

I left the class refreshed.  The room was buzzing.   The people I talked to were high.   And I admit, and maybe I shouldn't, I have a sense of sadness. I have been here for 2 1/2 months.  There has been no Geetaji, no Guruji, and I feel like I've really missed something.  Really missed getting to experience two complete Yoga Masters sharing their art.  I feel so grateful to have Manouso in my life.  Every single thing about me has gotten better since I began studying with him.  And I feel grateful for Abhi and what she is bringing to the table.  I think as teachers it so important we weave the physical mastery with the spiritual essence.  I do my best to do that, but I am young in my understanding.  Abhi did that seamlessly and effortlessly today.   We, or at least I,  have a ton to learn from her. 

The End of Month 2

I have just finished my second month here at the Iyengar Institute in Pune.  With only one month left, I already feel tinges of sadness and fear, and the desire to stay for the rest of the year. I will have completed 3 months by the time I leave, have learned so much, and still have that feeling that it wasn't nearly enough and I want so much more. 

The second month was completely different from the first for me.  I was way less social, my health was much better and my practice much stronger.  I remember one moment I had in the hall towards the end of the first month and again in the beginning of the second, where I looked around the hall, saw everyone practicing, and had a feeling of how immature my practice felt.   After 17 years of almost daily practice, this was such a humbling experience.

I have had the tremendous honor of assisting in the medical classes.   At first my role was small, but as everyone has gotten to know me and as I have gotten a deeper understanding of what is to be done, my role has gradually increased.  For those of you who have not been to Pune, the medical classes are a Complex, Brilliant and Very Dynamic Display of the Therapeutic Aspects of Iyengar Yoga.  People have to apply for the class and are treated for a varying array of conditions.   These  can run from "simple" back and shoulder pain, to heart problems, surgery recovery, thyroid issues, cancer, etc.   Everyone has a particular sequence that's individual for them, normally given by Geeta-ji.  And almost every single teacher from the institute is there helping to run it.  From the outside, it looks hectic and chaotic, but the more I am there, the more I begin to understand what is going on, the more I see the magical order to it. I have no doubt its the kind of experience that only after I leave, will I realize how much I have actually learned.

And now month three has started.  I am still chasing Kapotasana, working to align my hips in Hanumanasana, getting a feel in my own body for what I observe and help out with in the medical classes, and as of today, working therapeutically with my own left hip, the one that just doesn't want to release in Ardha Padmasana or Mulabhandasana.  My practice has matured.  I am learning to go after my poses.  To not just hang around in Uttanasana, but to work with it.  To get my legs together, knees straight, palms on the floor behind my feet,  chest and abdomen directly on my thighs, head between my shins.  Some things come naturally and some things you have to work for.  I wish I had come here 10 years ago, got some of these teaching's then, but this is my path and my life is surely blessed.  I am so grateful for what I am receiving and so excited to be able to share it with my friends, colleagues, and students. 

Backbends With Dave

Without a doubt, my favorite part of the day is the self practice in the hall from 9-12.  After the 7-9 am class, I often leave, eat half a watermelon or a coconut, and get back to the hall by 9:30 for 2 1/2 hours of practice.   In some ways, even though there is no teacher, this block of time is like a master class all in itself.  To be surrounded by 60-80 practitioners, all practicing diligently, exploring their capabilities, consciousness and creativity, is something that brings me joy day in and day out. 

For me, yoga has always been a deeply personal and somewhat private journey.  People have asked to practice with me from time to time over the years and I generally always say no.  It just doesn't interest me.  Perhaps part of the reason is because of the mirror this provides, and that it is sometimes  difficult for me to fully stay in myself when surrounded by other people, but whatever it is, when it comes to self practice, I'd rather do it alone.

My time in the hall every day is blasting that apart........in a very safe way.  In one essence we are all practicing together, but in another we are really all practicing alone.....in the same space.  This allows for deep penetration, inspiration from other practitioners, and also complete respect for one's space and privacy.  I have made some good friends in the hall and from time to time we come out of our poses, help each other, make suggestions and crack jokes.  It is a very nourishing part of the practice.

Today was back bend day.  My friend, Dave, had mentioned that today was his day to get over his fear of dropping back from Sirsasana.  Dave and I have been practicing next to each other the last three days and so I said sure, I was with him.  We wound up getting to the hall at the same time, setting up our mats, and starting our warmup.  Trikonasana, Gomukhasana, Paschima Namaskar; we separately did our own things to open up the back, rib cage and shoulders.  I did a variation of headstand where instead of being on the crown of the head, the head tilts back and you are on the bridge of your nose.  (There is not a headstand that makes my neck feel better and I generally do it as prep before dropping back).   Even before I came out of the pose, a voice whispered from behind me and said, "you ready?"  "Sure", I replied.

For the next 5 minutes, Gary, Dan and I assisted Dave in dropping back.  He did it about 6 times, and 2 or 3 on his own, for the first time ever.  Then it was my turn and I immediately felt a sense of joy.  Gary came over and gave me some assistance with a belt, and for moment there I was standing on my head, with my legs parallel to floor......behind me.  It was a feeling my body had never felt before.  I wound up doing about 5 or 6 more, each one amplifying the joy I felt inside.  By the time I was done, I felt exhilerated and was able to shoot love beams out of my eyes.  Dave was too.  He was right there, smiling, sweating, laughing.  We were both so happy.

We wound up practicing together for the next 45 minutes or so, all a prep for Kapotasana.  We went into Urdvha Dhanurasana and I looked at him and said, "let's do a bunch!"  We pushed up into 25 straight, then did about 5 more with more precision, then went to the wall for some other variations. By the time we were done, including the Viparita Dandasana's, we did about 50-60 in total!

Each time it got difficult, or we got to a place in the body with little consciousness, Dave would say, "I'm going to Prashantify this one."  Which, loosely translated, means to put your awareness on the energetics around a given area and let the energy create the physical change.  Each time he did, his pose deepened. 

Towards the end of my practice, I almost got into Kapotasana (my physical asana goal for my time here).  My left shoulder just doesn't have the motor control yet to make the turn.  But what I found truly amazing was as I looked around the hall, so many people were practicing back bends.  Some were dropping back from headstand, others were taking very creative variations of Viparita Dandasana that I had never seen.  There was a cosmic consciousness in the air, a feeling that we are all alone and all together at the same time.  A feeling of friendship and comradery. 

As I'm here in Pune, and here at the Iyengar Hall, I realize one thing.  You can do yoga, but its much better when yoga is done to you.  There is a force all around us and even though the vehicle we have is the body, and there is a strong sense of "I" with that, the more we let go and let yoga take us, the more joy and happiness and connection we feel.  For me, its not just connection to myself and to God, but to others as well.  And, I know that as much as I'd like enlightenment and freedom from all the suffering, what I'm really going for, what I really feel is available, is simply just connection. 

Guruji in Kapotasana

 

Urdvha Dhanurasana

 Viparita Dandasana